The perfect gift.

My 6 year old daughter has a knack for making first impressions. For her first day of kindergarten she told her teacher that "he was a good teacher and she had a great day but didn't know if she was coming back tomorrow, she would have to ask her mom." It was his first day of teaching and this little girl was putting him in his place in a matter of fact way. He told me he will always remember that moment, not so much the words, but how this little girl said it. So very sure of herself and happy. 

A couple days before first grade started, Quinn and her daddy, made a necklace together. It was  a snail shell they found together and put on a string. Honestly, it was quite ugly, and it smelled. So she decided the morning of school that it was the perfect gift for her new teacher. I tried to protest but my daughter, true to form, could not be persuaded to do otherwise. So she marched off to school with her "gift" and a sense of contentment that I can only wistfully dream of feeling. To her that necklace was special and it was obviously the perfect gift for any teacher of hers. I know it will make an impression. How could it not?

It's not the gift itself that she is giving her teacher, it's a little piece of her. Her wonder and curiosity that she feels everyone (even teachers) should have. To Quinn that snail shell is a part of nature that is beautiful and mysterious. Ugly and stinky though it may be, viewing nature to her is special and something to be shared. I don't think anyone at the receiving end of these gifts will ever be able to truly appreciate it the same way she does. Not the way I do watching her give these gifts. 

Well meant schedules and Caramel apples...

Can you feel it? Fall is slowly creeping up on us like a ghost in the night. I love it. Nothing makes me feel more alive than the cooler days and the beautiful colors en robing the trees before they sleep. The geese honking across the sky towards the south for winter. Hot cocoa and pumpkins. How can you not feel alive?

My daughter is starting first grade on Monday. Another sign of fall. She is excited. I should be too because it saves me a lot of money on summer camp fees! I decided that this year I will try something a little different. This year, I made a schedule. An honest to goodness schedule. It lists everything from wake up, work, free time etc. I even went a step further and started planning all of the meals for the week on Friday night and shopping on Saturday. No more daily trips to the grocery store. I figure it will help save money and time. In particular, MY time. I feel like I'm starting a new school year. Of course, when I was a kid I always started the year gun ho and ready to get my act together only to fizzle out less than half-way through the year. So we shall see!

I listed my Autumn Magic Soap on artfire today. I also poured a whole bunch of caramel apple soy tarts. Did I mention that fall is my favorite time of year??

The Luna Moth

We've seen a couple rare glimpses of these beautiful giant moths this year. I've lived here for 15 years and this year was the first time I've actually seen one. They are a really cool species of moth.

Not all of it was bad...

Anyone who knows me also knows that my childhood stories are scary nightmares. My stories usually consist of my fond memories of the simply bizarre. An adopted mother who acted bipolar and an alcoholic adopted father who did his best to drown himself. But I know deep down, I have some good memories. I think what usually happens is that the bad outweigh the good. So, my mission is to try and remember some of the good.

So some good memories of my childhood:

My dad had a big garden. Something I can only appreciate now. To have had fresh vegetables every day and not go to the grocery store.

My mother, made the best taco salads.

When my dad would take my brothers fishing, my mom would rent musicals and get pizza we'd have a girls night with my little sister and I.

One christmas a family in the church treated my family to a "secret friend" themed with the 12 days of christmas. Each of the 12 days of christmas a new gift was left at our mailbox or front lawn with a poem. It was exciting to see what would come next. It was very special and really made that christmas a cherished memory.

It's good to know that there are some good memories of childhood. It hurts to relive some of them because they make me sad. But they exist, and that is a start.

I don't raise the dead! Have you seen Pet Semetary?

I received one of the weirdest calls at work today. It's one that had me confused and laughing my butt off at the same time. At work, when a pet is put to sleep, we make a paw print impression for the owner. It's of there own pet, right after euthanasia. It doesn't matter if they have private cremation or not, it's just something we do for the owner. No charge.

Me: ACME Animal Hospital, How can I help you?

Caller: Yes, I picked up my pet's paw print this weekend and it broke. Can I get another?

Me: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, the bodies have all gone off for cremation.

Caller: Well I have her ashes already. I picked them up on Saturday with her Paw print.

Me: < Looking around for the hidden camera> I'm so sorry, we really do need your pets body in order to make a new paw print for you......... 

Caller: I'm sorry too! CLICK!!!

I have no idea what I was missing! I felt really bad for the owner and even worse that there was no way to make that call a happy ending. It's not like we could rehydrate the ashes. I thought about saying "Listen, I don't raise the dead. Have you ever seen pet sematary? It didn't end well for them!" but I know that would have been really rude. 

The Bad Moms Club.

I found the perfect club for me!

The Bad Moms Club

Perfect mommy soldiers.

I sit here contemplating how on earth I could possibly have thought I could be a mother. How do other women do this? I am ready to literally rip my hair out and scream. My three year old son will not give me a moments peace and my six year old has the attitude of a sixteen year old. So I think about the mothers I do know and wonder how could I have this so wrong? What is wrong with me? Why am I ready to just collapse and give up?

To listen to all of the other moms, life is so sweet and slow. They laugh everything off like it is just another tickle in there perfect lives. "Ha ha, she spilled red paint everywhere including the dog and then proceeded to run away and slam the door in my face, isn't that just adorable? I am so blessed!" They are never tired and never lose their temper. Perfect mommy robots. And I envy them. Oh how I wish I could just get through one day and feel that perfect and that blessed. Instead, I go to bed and lie awake and wonder how I can possibly do this. I tell myself tomorrow, I won't lose my patience. Tomorrow, I will be a great mom. Needless to say, I always let myself down. 

Do these women have some drug I don't know about that makes them mellow and yet full of energy? I want that drug! Give it to me!!! I want to be part of the drugged up mommy revolution!

Giddy with Joy.

Holiday weekend! And even better my wonderful SIL will be taking my kids to her nieces Birthday party over night. That means me, hubby and the house to ourselves. Perhaps we will frolic around and go crazy by watching grown up movies, eating sweets and just basking in the silence. Maybe, I'll read a book and suck on M&M's without constant distraction? I might even go to the bathroom by myself! I can't tell you how giddy I am.

On the biz end of things, I'm testing new waxes for my container candles. The manufacture of my wax seems to have changed something. No one except a fellow candle maker will understand the frustration of testing hundreds of wicks/wax combos in search of the perfect candle only to have the manufacturer change it up without telling you. So the search begins yet again.

I'm also starting to think fall. It's never too early to start planning for new holiday and fall scents to add to the line up. Gods, I love fall.