Perfect mommy soldiers.

I sit here contemplating how on earth I could possibly have thought I could be a mother. How do other women do this? I am ready to literally rip my hair out and scream. My three year old son will not give me a moments peace and my six year old has the attitude of a sixteen year old. So I think about the mothers I do know and wonder how could I have this so wrong? What is wrong with me? Why am I ready to just collapse and give up?

To listen to all of the other moms, life is so sweet and slow. They laugh everything off like it is just another tickle in there perfect lives. "Ha ha, she spilled red paint everywhere including the dog and then proceeded to run away and slam the door in my face, isn't that just adorable? I am so blessed!" They are never tired and never lose their temper. Perfect mommy robots. And I envy them. Oh how I wish I could just get through one day and feel that perfect and that blessed. Instead, I go to bed and lie awake and wonder how I can possibly do this. I tell myself tomorrow, I won't lose my patience. Tomorrow, I will be a great mom. Needless to say, I always let myself down. 

Do these women have some drug I don't know about that makes them mellow and yet full of energy? I want that drug! Give it to me!!! I want to be part of the drugged up mommy revolution!

You know you're a mom when....

(I found this in an email and had to share. It's funny but it's true)

You automatically double-knot everything you tie.

You find yourself humming the Barney song as you do the dishes.
(I always find myself singing elmos world.)

You hear a baby cry in the grocery store, and you start to gently sway back and forth, back and forth. However, your children are at school!
(I've also found myself swaying back and forth when I'm stressed.)

You actually start to like the smell of strained carrots mixed with applesauce.

You weep through the scene in Dumbo when his mom is taken away, not to mention what Bambi does to you.
(Bawl my eyes out!)

You get soooo into crafts you contemplate writing a book called 101 Fun Crafts to do with Dryer Lint and Eggshells.
(That's how I got into candles and soap:-)

You spend a half hour searching for your sunglasses only to have your teenager say, "Mom, why don't you wear the ones you pushed up on your head?"

You are out for a nice romantic meal with your husband, enjoying some real adult conversation, when suddenly you realize that you've reached over and started to cut up his steak!