Endless spring

Another cold rainy day in this endless spring. Normally I love spring. It comes with a mix of warm sunshine and some rainy days but this is ridiculous. I don't know if what I am feeling lately is a mirror of the rain or the other way around. It seems to all be the same. Ugh!

So I've been perusing youtube a lot lately, sort of looking for some of the old songs to hear again and I came across a beautiful version of "Send me an Angel". Orginally sung by the scorpions. In this version they are joined by a singer named Liel Kolet. Very pretty voice.

The diary of a mental breakdown.

I am having one of those years where I have finally fallen to my knees and yelled to the universe "What the Hell?!?!!" Am I not deserving of some sort of love? Does everything have to be a challenge on me? I wish I could say that I have lived as much as I have dreamed. I wish I could say that my life brings me joy and happiness and that being a mother is the best thing ever. I wish I could say my marriage was fine and I am happily in love. I wish I could say that I knew who I was and could stride forward in confidence without fear. I can't. I won't.

Does anybody? Does anybody really truly live without fear. Live ever flowing with the changes and still come out as the same person? If life is change then shouldn't change be second nature to us? Why does it also have to destroy as it builds? So I am stuck, asking more questions then willing to look for the answers. Because I know the answers. I'm just not ready to face them. Instead, I will probably just scream at the universe some more.

A little bit of sugar

If you read my blogs then you know for certain one thing about me. I HATE the news. I HATE the fear-mongering over inflated and frankly stupid FOX news and other "news" channels. They are not news. News would be reporting what is actually going on, you know "facts". Not the opinions of a biased and frankly ignorant group of people who talk before they think.

So how do I keep up with what's going on in the world? Sometimes I read the Huffington Post. Sometimes I read what comes up on Latest Headlines or what is posted in the local news. But my favorite is Satirical news. Its news with a dose of sugar in the form of humor to make it go down a little better. The Daily Show with Jon Stewart or The Colbert Report, make news fun and you still get some facts mixed in. Frankly, it makes me not want to go jump off a bridge. I recently came across a great blog, One Nation Under Mom that really had me rolling and I highly recommend. Yes, it's satire and opinion but it's funny. Best of both worlds. Check it out, and enjoy it. Life is too damn short for anything else.

I was Sucker Punched..

So, went to see the movie Sucker Punch last night with my BFF. It looked cool. I mean, come on, girls in cool and sexy costumes fighting and kicking ass. Well, it's now been 12 hours since I saw it and I still don't get it. I have no idea what the movie was trying to say. Maybe, I just expect movies to have a point of or even a plot. But this movie, well, I must be missing something. The costumes WERE awesome. The violence was abundant. The music rocked. (going to get the soundtrack for the gym) But the story line was so damn confusing. I can't wrap my head around what was real and wasn't. Perhaps, I'm not supposed to. Perhaps they wanted to make it so people who don't really get it will say it was artistic and you have to be of a certain kind of person to understand the subtle (or not so subtle) nuance of this movie. To sum it up, Baby Doll the blonde is sent to a mental institution where her dirty stepfather pays secretly to have her lobotomized. She goes from a dreary institution to suddenly a club of "dancers". She discovers that when she dances she can enter another fantasy completely where she has a sword and is fighting to survive. The people around her are almost hypnotized by the fantasy. Soon, the other girls become part of it and they are trying to find items in order to escape. Basically its a fantasy on top of another fantasy and you're not really sure who is in on it and who isn't. The ending, well I won't spoil it but did not bring it all together like I was hoping.

Perhaps, I'm just too old to understand it.

Ask, question and evolve.

Believe nothing on the faith of traditions,
even though they have been held in honor
for many generations and in diverse places.
Do not believe a thing because many people speak of it.
Do not believe on the faith of the sages of the past.
Do not believe what you yourself have imagined,
persuading yourself that a God inspires you.
Believe nothing on the sole authority of your masters and priests.
After examination, believe what you yourself have tested
and found to be reasonable, and conform your conduct thereto.
~Buddha

News as you should hear it!

I don't watch the news anymore. In fact, it's been almost a year since I actually sat and watched the news. It didn't matter what station I watched. To me it was all depressing, overly inflated, politicized fear mongering and rhetoric that made me feel like strangling someone or throwing a brick through a window. It may be that I am just overly empathetic to feelings but trust me, it was not a good combination for me. The only news I do watch anymore is The Daily Show with Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert. It's news in small pieces and mix of humor and opinion that doesn't leave me feeling like killing someone. (I do read the news but typically the Huffington post.)

So in true Jon Stewart Style, Here is your moment of Zen...

The Daily Show
Tags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

On you next walk, watch out for giant reptiles!

Imagine taking fluffy out for a walk and passing a 5 foot monitor lizard. Or better yet, your neighbors escaped pet tiger. I'm starting to wonder if maybe the US needs to rethink the whole "what is a pet" policy. (before my kids get eaten) I suppose I could always use it as a threat... "Clean your room or I will feed you to the smiths pet monitor lizard!"

Godzilla in the Burbs!

A book review of sorts...

I just finished the Hunger Games trilogy, and all I can say is... WOW. No series has had such a profound effect on how I feel and how I view my day to day life. I had no idea why. For some reason I identified so strongly with the main character Katniss. No, I've never had to live in such a state or had to kill others in a game of sport for the wealthy elite, but in my own personal way, I lived my own hunger games. My childhood was anything but nice and cozy. In fact I can honestly say that everyday was a fight for me and younger siblings. From the time we woke up to the time we went to bed it was a fight to survive.

It would be a really long blog if I went into the specifics of the series and no one wants to here me drone on in book report fashion. But I do highly recommend these books. From the moment I picked it up I could not put them down. They put you into a world of fear and abuse by a government on it's people that can only be challenged by extreme change and rebellion of the people. Triggered by a 16 year old girl (Katniss) simply trying to stay alive, the rebellion takes off and leaves a wake of pain and tragedy for everyone involved but especially for Katniss. The choices she has to make in order to survive kept me at the edge of my seat.

The Hunger Games

Peace to everyone and I hope the winter is treating you all kindly.